Waiting

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What do you do when you have to wait? Our son Matthias has grown up waiting. When your brother has special needs, it’s part of the package.

Matthias has grown up in a story that is inextricably linked to his brother. He has spend too many hours in doctor’s offices waiting for David’s appointments. Waiting with us for results. Waiting to proceed to the next waiting room. He’s listened patiently to the story of David’s birth and the way that has shaped Lisa and I over and over again.

In spite of the waiting—maybe because of it—Matthias lives a life that redeems time.

He is an artist. He’s drawn for as long as I can remember. He spends so many of the hours waiting coming up with ideas and drawing. He’s the first in our family to publish a book. OK, it was self-published, but still!

A couple years ago he decided to make a book for Lisa for Mother’s Day. He created a Superhero A-Z book. For each letter of the alphabet, there are three superheroes. Drawn. Colored. Named. Original superheroes. Each has their own backstory. I remember him working on it in waiting rooms and hospital cafeterias. He had nights sitting awake in bed working to meet his deadline.

“Dad, I’m really worried that I won’t finish in time. I have so much work to do to finish for mom.” He told me night after night as I put him to bed.

“It’s OK kiddo. just keep working on it a little at a time. I think mom will understand if you don’t quite make it.” I said. (His first big project and I was already teaching him to blow off deadlines! What a terrible father!)

Matthias turns 10 today. He is creative. He is imaginative.  He is dedicated to his art. He thinks, he draws, he writes. Every day. Everywhere we go, he’s got his bag with paper, pencils and pens at the ready just in case he has to wait—he’s ready. He is  loving. His book for Lisa was a work of love. He loves his brother—even looking for him at school (they inhabit afferent parts of campus), and being protective of him with other kids. He is sensitive. He cares about the people in his life. He is kind and respectful and knows how to talk with adults.

I am proud that Matthias is my son. I celebrate his step into double digits toward the pre-teen years even as I grieve the loss of our little boy. I can’t wait to see the man he will become. Happy birthday Matthias.

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